Self Esteem.... not one of my strongest areas, due to how i have grow up.
firstly, nobody understands the racism and critisisms that half asians face.... especially those with blue eyes.
Firstly, not all people are racist. I have a wonderful and loving girlfriend who is a fullblood Chinese, we have been together for almost a year now and love each other very much. Yep, thats right, she can love somebody with blue eyes, and she thinks my eyes are very attractive.
although, i myself can not feel this all the time.
im very critical on myself in terms of physical appearance due to my low self esteem.
here in australia people will look at me and see asian, also see white, then see blue eyes and thing, nope he cant be asian if the eye color is blue. i was given the very rare trait of blue eyes from my "father" it seems.
Due to DNA make up of the Double Helix and all things that stem from it, half asians have four different looks.
1. look almost full asian
2. look like a mix of asian and white.
3. look like there own unique way, very hard for others to guess what they are.
4. look almost full white.
i feel i look a inbetween 2 and 3... if it wasnt for my blue eyes, i would say my look is number 2.
at times i have encountered a lot of hurtful comments as a youngster and even now as an adult it still goes on.
certain people can view you as not "asian" due to not being fullblood... where is the common sence, 50% of something IS something.... if you have 50% of a chocolate bar, you dont have NO chocolate bar, am i right ?
basically you get racism from both sides, too white to be "asian", too "asian" to be white....its pretty hard to fit in.
for those wondering, i guess i should state my nationalities.
i am a half yamato japanese and half american.
i speak decent Nihongo (Japan's national language) as well as decent Mandarin (china's national language)
in japan people would always speak japanese to me, as japan is more knowlegeable of mixed blood people.... not to say they are any more accepting tho.
everywhere a mixed blood lives, they are bound to encounter racism. although i must say everybodys acceptance of me in japan was amazing.
here in melbourne i am starting to feel a lot of acceptance, apart from the occaisinal tools, its pretty good here now.
i am accepted into my girlfriends family and it really makes me happy to see.
now i just need to overcome this body image issue... the more people accept me, the easier it becomes.
now all it takes is time and progress.
ganbarimasu !
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